As we get closer to getting into adoption circulation, my mom decided to send over a picture of my own adoption. This really caused me to think about what my adoption has meant to me. I have always known that I was adopted. My parents made it clear to me
that they wanted a little girl. My mom always tells the story of how
she was so excited when she got the call that she dropped the pan of
chicken that she was making on the ground. I understood that I was
loved and that I was chosen, even if I didn't quite understand it. In
my head, I thought that I was in a little cage like a pet store and that
my parents chose me from there. Regardless of how I came into the
family, I knew that I was glad to be a part of it.
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| Check it out. My parents in all of their 70's glory on my adoption day. |
My adoption was closed. I did not have the opportunity to meet my birth mother until I was twenty. I will never be able to meet my birth father. When I grew up, I wasn't able to know why I was placed for adoption or anything about my past. Whenever a teacher asked for my ethnic background or my doctor asked for my medical history, I didn't have any answers. When I was twenty, I was allowed to search with my parents' permission. My mom understood that I wasn't looking to replace them, but because I really wanted to know more about who I was and where I came from. She said, "Laura, you can never have too many people who love you." When I met my birthmother, Cheryl, I learned that she had spent her whole life wondering if I was okay. She carried around guilt that I was angry at her (I wasn't). It upset me to learn that she was feeling guilt that she didn't need to feel. I was okay. I love my parents. I wish that I could have told her that many years earlier.
This experience makes me so supportive of the idea of open adoption. My future child can never have too many people that love him/her. I really look forward to expanding our family and friends to include our child's birthparents. I think it is best for the birthparent, me, and most importantly, for my future child.
